31st Aug

I feel so forgotten! My family all went out for lunch (I stayed at home to do coursework) and I never got the memo that they were doing their own thing for tea, AND I didn't eat any lunch as we dint have anything. So its now past 10pm and I'm eating porridge... its actually really good though so they're forgiven thanks to my awesome cooking skills ;)

Oh I had another awesome outfit based around my pants :) They were short type pants again with grey,black,white,pink and silver jigsaw pieces on and 'wanna play?' written on the band (awesome I know) yeah so I wore it with a white vest top and grey cardigan,,, It looks good ;)

Yeahh, not much else to say. THE STAR!!!!

30th Aug

I think I had the best outfit on today, I had no trousers on but I still looked awesome ;)

Lmao, I bought these new pants yesterday they are white with red apples on them and the have a red band with 'pick me' on it, I was wearing it with a white vest top and my giant red cardigan, I also had my nails painted red from yesterday and was wearing red, black and silver jewellery I have never felt so fashionable in my underpants, needless to say I spent alot of time dancing to funky music :D

I am so wearing the outfit out, though I MIGHT wear some trousers,,, ohh maybe my boyfriend jeans?? or my pale blue skinnys... or black ones... choices choices but yeah.

I finished To Kill A Mockingbird FINALLY nothing happens until the last few chapters anyway, its pointless I do not know how it became a classic. Sucketh.

I now am aiming to show my retarded side a lot more, after reading MLIA (www.mylifeisaverage.com) and realising how cool they are, I never knew that many people were Harry Potter freaks lol, I wanna read the books again.

School starts in less than a week D:

I'm SUPPOSED to be going on a 'family fun day' tomorrow, kill me now.

Btw KIRO LOOKS LIKE THE GOBLIN KING IN THAT PICTURE!!! (far left for those of you uncool enough not to know who Kiro is)

Yeah thats it. Woop Woop!

27th Aug

Just came back from visiting the family for a few days, not fun.

I think everyone's family is slightly dysfunctional but... OMJ mine is beyond.

AND I just got my exam results!! I met up with my friend like... half an hour ago. I did OK for someone who has only been in 2 third of the year but it was pretty shit. 3B's an A and a C, I think I'll be resitting them next year. Ahh well at least I CAN resit it without retaking the whole of the year. My sister didn't have much luck either, she didn't get into her chosen uni she was one mark off, shes gonna go to the local one i think which is still pretty good...

School starts in a week...noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! I am NOT looking forward to the early mornings and well school itself, too much work :P

Well I have stuff to catch up on so... bye!

Hehe

I thought they were funny :D

20th Aug

I think I was just having a bad day yesterday... A normal person can have a bad day right?

I was just tired and had an argument and *coughperiodcough* so you know :)

I'm fine today, just as well I cancelled on my friend I would have missed it anyway lol.

Toyz is not in HMV and will not be in HMV which is the only big music store in my city and I checked the smaller ones too nothing I know its out tomorrow but they didn't have it on coming soon/pre-order or the old album either. I doubt they'll have Humanoid either. Damn, I'll have to get it on itunes which sucks cause I wanted the CD, I like Cd's you can touch them and arrange them (Yea I'm weird like that ;))

Well... oh apparently CherryTreeRadio is airing the full single Automatic soon, I'm waiting on it :D

19th Aug

Yikes, just about over that.

Not very good. I dont think I should be giving advice about depression when I cant really control mine, I'm guessing its back after that little episode. I feel so lethargic. I suppose I already knew it would come back, going back to school is the worst. Shit. I dont want to think about it. I have to go away next week, I hate going away I want to stay home, in my room forever but I force myself to go out like today even though I felt horrible.

I forgot I was supposed to be going out with my friend tomorrow. I thought it was friday. I think I'm going to have to cancel/reschedule. I feel so tired. At least I didnt hurt myself this time, not that I always do or anything but I have a couple of times, I've never told anyone just as well no one reads this blog. I'm tired and feel awful.

I wish I could makeup my life, like a story. Fantasy is so much better than reality.

19th Aug

I'm fucked.

I think its back. The depression that is. I felt it creeping up but my god I can't. I can't think I just am nothing. I feel nothing. Fuck it.

19th Aug

Just sitting here listening to some Wham! ;) No seriously I am. 'I don't want no freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedommmmmm' (8)

Anyway I'm in a weird mood despite having a pretty umm nothing day, wonderfully sad? Its a sad day for happiness. Tokio Hotel released a preview of Automatic its great Bill gets his voice really high its beautiful. Its kind of disappointing, why cant I be German the lyrics are totally different in the other language more meaningful. I think I'll get both Humanoid albums... I also want to get Cinema Bizarre's Toyz but I cant find it on amazon or play. Germany get both bands. I wish I was older and lived in Germany and I wish I hadn't dropped German!

I seriously love music, I'm having a music trip, you know, like one week I'll be mega into movies and watch like 5 films anoter music which is more appropriate as I dont have to sit on my ass when listening to it.

Oh went to the cinema the other day saw The Timetraveller's Wife? I think thats the name anyway, but yeah its ok. Nothing amazing. Yeah, I cried lmao, suprised?

New pictures as well, Bill is so cute! I seriously am pining for someone I never met. Damn teenage hormones, or damn Bill's hotness? well damn something!

I need to stop going to bed hungry, makes it harder to sleep...

Eeeeeps random mood.Bill. Picture. Soo... good:(

16th Aug

Well I haven't posted in a while, maybe I got a life ;)

My Internet AND laptop are being totally spaztic on me as usual so I'll try and keep t short but knowing me its not gonna happen, see I'm rambling already!

Well, Not only have Tokio Hotel been in the UK without my knowledge (I'm not sure there's much I could do if I had known except drive 4 hours to London airport, if someone would take time off work to meet them tired and pissed off for a brief few seconds and then driving about 6 hours (rush hour) home... hmmm could have happened?) maybe it was just as well. Theres been a few pictures and whatnot released including some of Bill in the studio dubbing the Arthur und die Minimoys sequel and someone spotted that he had his nipple pierced, must have hurt like hell, they don't really do it for me.

But yeah I also have a new fave band, they don't beat Tokio Hotel but they're second and they're also German... Seriously, why cant I live in Germany? They're called Cinema Bizarre, slightly more upbeat music and they're crazy, its hard to pick a favourite as they're all so unique (not that TH aren't but Bill is just so beautiful the others cant compete, well Tom could as they're practically identical lookwise but its about more than looks) anyway I think I have to favour Kiro hes just so cute! Hes like a PIKACHU I just wanna put him in my pocket! Yu has an amazing torso (not that Kiro doesn't) and is more ummm hot (not that Kiro isn't) Strify is just Stify (honestly I cant explain, hes just cool), Shin is sweet and I haven't seen much of Romeo... they're kinda mysterious too noone seems to know their real names (its assumed Romeo is Romeo and apparelty Yu is Hannes. But the other 2 are a total mystery) its kinda annoying but you know whatever floats their boat.

So I'll put up a picture I made for my YouTube page, this is the version with my face covered up cause well it aint a pretty sight ;) it has a mix of Tokio Hotel and (well me) Cinema Bizarre with Bill and Kiro singled out of each band. Oh and I've got lyrics from both band's songs dotted around the place, I thought it was pretty good seeing as the program I used it on completely wrecks my computer when I'm using it! Like I always say please dont use it, it has me in it so even though my face is covered up I still dont want it everywhere, if you want a picture spend 5 hours making one yourself! :P Oh and click on it to get better quality :)

Well so much for a short post... stop, stop typing now!!

10th Aug

I am really sad, apparently Tokio Hotel aren't releasing their album in the UK!!! Its bad enough they dont do a concert in Wales and only one elsewhere in their lives but seriously no album, what have I done wrong?

I forgot to mention Total Wipeout the other day HILARIOUS Tv show, people doing a huge obstacle course into mud and stuff,, its hilarious you HAVE to watch it :)

I was told about this site in the cherrytree chatroom, Omegle.com you talk to strangers anonymously of course, which is good because then you can have fun, tough you do get perv's sometimes but you just disconnect the chat and all is good. Same if they're boring or don't like Tokio Hotel (and I cant persuade them too) they get the cut :P

I watched Holes AND Black Beauty today, i dont know where I find the time! but yea I fast forwarded some of BB as it was just horses running (who knew ;)) but Holes the adaption (we have the video, I never knew) normally films skip loads of stuff out and have totally different character but this didn't the only difference is the end of the book and that Stanley isnt fat.

Lol I realise I sound sad on here, but I do other stuff too besides watch films, read and talk to strangers!!

I need to work out a plan to get my parents to buy some software I want for video making, Vegas Studio Something or other.

9th Aug

I'm getting really bad at going to sleep, late night I didn't go to sleep until 5am by then the sun had begin rising so it was all bright! Its nearly 2am *shakes head in self dissapointment*

I finished the Holes book and now I really want to watch the film... I dug out our old video The secret garden to watch, the quality wasn't brilliant but I love watching old movies that I used to watch as a child, I could remember the storyline but I could remember some scenes. Watching them now I'm older though I understand it a bit more, a a child you don't usually focus on the whole story but I managed to... its pretty similar to Jane Eyre with the tormented manor owner who gets a new lease of life due to a girl moving in kinda thing. Oh and the Gardiner in it is the slave dude in Ever After (my sister pointed this out, you know the servant Drew pretended to be a courtier to buy him back) anyway its a small world in Celebland :P

Oh and now I also want to watch Black Beauty because the boy with the white horse in secret garden was in it (horses coincidence, funny :)). My sister used to watch it all the time when we were kids but normally I would avoid it a I found it too sad, I think I can just about handle it now ;). I know we have it on video somewhere...

I think the pictures above are sweet... OMG SKITTLES!! I never noticed before.

I ate tea tonight as we had it as a family otherwise I would have forgot again according to my family, Hopeless. But I hadn't eaten much before I had popcorn, so it was ok... I am always self-conscious when eating popcorn as I have a funny way of eating it according to people, I get a handful and well pick it up with my tongue (sounds odd). Popcorn sticks to your tongue so that seems a logical way of eating it right? So yea, that's a fact about me; I get self-conscious eating popcorn!

8th Aug

Gawd,, I'm up in the early hours of the morning again! My eyes are hurting from reading books and computer screens, cant be good for my eyesight, I'm getting really paranoid about that, no way do I want glasses, I can barely wear sunglasses for longer than an hour... but I managed to read most of the bottom line which she said was good... A tip for you people, do not wear loads of mascarra when visiting the optitians its rather distracting when after having your hand over one eye your eyelashes stick together and make that tugging feeling which in turn makes your eyes water :P

Damn software kept freezing up my computer but I managed to get some OKish photoshopping done...

My sister just arrived back from clubbing a few minutes ago so she woke up the whole house... well my mum as I was already up but my mum didnt know that.

I forgot to eat dinner again... seriously my memory! I blame the caffeine, I had diet Pepsi. I dont drink fizzy drinks. I dont drink caffeine. And I definitely dont drink drinks with Aspartame as I am slightly allergic. This drink had all three in it. But I was hot after being outside in the heat (yes, it was sunny for once) and there was no water or juice in the fridge. I've eaten a fuckload of junkfood (250g chocolate bar, crisps + a whole packet of chocolate digestives) so I wont starve though. Honestly somedays I'll eat next to nothing or nothing and others I'll eat loads, I could do with some Skittles, or Ben&Jerry's cookie dough ice cream. Damn, what did I say the other day about junk food... must eat healthier.

Oh right so I was reading my book earlier (the How To Be Popular When Your A Social Reject Like Me by Meg Cabot, I finished it a few hours ago and am now reading Holes by Louis Sachar... I loved the Holes film with Shia LaBeof, funny his character in Even Stevens was Louis... funny how he went from that dorky kid to one loads of people fancy... man, I said I get distracted easily!!) what was I saying... Oh yea, so in the book it mentions a scene in the film Ever After (the bit where Drew Barrymore enters the ball in her winged outfit) and earlier on I had been watching the film (this was all like yesterday...or the day before? well I thought it was a coincidence.

Anyway I'll post the pictures well I jsut post this one as the others are all kind of either in this one (the Tokio Hotel logo in my eye) or really simialar. You'll probably notice a couple of pics from the depression picture, I tried to cover up the writing and cuts I created lol but "it was badly done Emma, badly done" (that was a quote from Jane Austen's book Emma in case you didnt know, my grandfather always says that to me, in a jokey way of course as I'm always on my best behavior when visiting him ;))

The picture above is Tokio Hotel related as I made it for my new cherrytree records account which I created so I could send that Team Tom petition to someone. I sent it to Martin, I don't know how involved he is with the band but he mentions them on his page and he's always popping up in conversations on Tokiohotelrocks.com.

Anyway, like I said before please dont use the pictures as I dont want to be all over the Internet... if you click on the picture it's sooo much better quality :)

7th Aug

Well I managed to finally do the picture for my depression post. I've posted it on my other Blog, I'll psot it now too, you need to click on it to get it in good quality though.

Its 2pm allready I only just woke up a hour ago or so... oh well I'm gonna get back to my reading 8-)

Oh and like I said before PLEASE DO NOT USE THE PICTURES theyre mine, I worked hard on them and I dont want them to be used elsewhere. Danke :)

6th Aug

I got cancelled on. Typical. I mean I'm not really mad cause I hadn't done any sketches anyways I just wish she told me sooner, its not her fault she had to go to London but all the same she could have told me earlier today and I could have rented a DVD or something for tomorrow or some skittles... No I have to start eating healthier, I've put on 3-4 pounds since the holidays have started as I havent had to watch what I eat, and plus I never eat meals at school whereas at home my sister always checks that I've eaten lunch and breakfast (she doesnt want me to be taller AND skinnier than her ;)) though I do forget to eat quite a lot, I forgot to eat tea last night due to my computer mishap, I was lying in bed at like 3am reading cause I couldnt sleep and was like, why do I feel hungry, then I remembered that I'd forgotten to eat. Really it happens a lot thats why my mum always makes us eat as a family I'm so forgetful and get distracted so easily. Her sister was anorexic so shes always worried me and my sister will be. Thats why she was so worried when I was 'mentally unstable' (I wasnt, I just dont know how else to describe it, just a slight breakdown? Anxiety disorder syndrome? whatever) and a lot when I wouldnt eat, its happened a few times I suppose I was on the verge of an eating disorder but not really, I mean I wasnt skinny or anything but... well its complicated.

I am having another go at doing the picture for my depression post on the other blog, after the other project fucked up on me.

Guess what I found out today, my dad gave my sister £50 behind my back, so I was annoyed then when I came home he unaware that I knew this info told me and said he would give me that much but not to tell my mum because she didnt think I was responsible enough, my mum was the one who told me about my sister getting the money!! So anyway I forgave my dad, hes extra stressed recently as he might loose his job anyday soon... they're trying to coax people into volunteering to become redundant before forcing people and my mum doesnt help egging him on his rants. I just hope he dont have a heart attack, I mean hes overweight and gets stressed easily, he has high blood pressure too... I mean I'm sure we'll just about cope financially as my mum earns more money than him and he has life insurance but... OMG WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT THIS?! horrible horrible thought!! I am only just starting to get along with him.

OH and more bad new today, my perfect eyesight? no longer. I went to the opticians today and normal its oh perfect eyesight but not today I'm apparently leaning towards short sightedness which I mean I kinda get, I'm always either reading, on my laptop or watching Films/TV but its still a blow. I mean I dont need glasses or anything but she says 'theres some progress' and I need to be checked more regularly. I'm kinda worried cause my mum didnt become short sighted till he was 17 and my eyes are my best feature. Not to sound big headed or anything but I have really nice eyes, they're like this really bold green, with all these colours in them and I have nice long lashes which you wont even be able to see if I have glasses on! Damn you laptop, TV and books!

Talking of, I started a new book. Well I read a few pages of To Kill A Mocking Bird but I thought I'd read my library ones first as they need to be returned sooner. I am now reading How to be Popular when your a Social Reject Like Me by Meg Cabot. Its ok, quite funny actually it a story not a manual, I dont want to be popular thanks :P

Oh my, I looked like such a chav today. Well ok, probably not reeeaaally but I did for my, if you knew be you'd be thinking that I didnt look right. I mean I'm definitely not emo, I dont really fit in a label a I wear what I feel like but my usual look is kinda... rocky? Well it wasn't really my fault it just happened. When I washed my hair I didnt brush it as I was rushing around doing other stuff so my fringe instead of being normal was slicked back in two big cowlicks, so I decided oh my gosh I cannot pull it back down and I dont have time to re-wash it so I did my best with the straighteners, curlers and hairdryer and in the end just clipped it back, but somehow amongst the teasing and blowing and twisting it looked chavvy... like I had extensions in. And then I was really hot after all the heat from the appliances so decided I'd wear my white shorts and then I saw my new blue and white checked shirt which I now totally regret buying but... and the shirt wouldnt button up all the way so I was forced to reveal a bit of cleavage (which would have been ok if I wasnt showing some leg too) and I couldnt do my usual black eye makeup as it'd look weird so I went all white and silver but put too much mascara on. I think a combination of this made it well not me, dont get me wrong it was an awesome look just so not me. I should have put on the gray cardie I had with me then it would have looked less chavvy but I was too hot. Oh and my grey conversey shoes? yea rubbed like hell!! :P

So anyway back to my photo project!! I'll give you a preview... Its slightly emoishhh which totally isnt me but come on, its about depression its hardly gonna be bunny's prancing about in a daisy field! Oh please do not use the picture, it is mine (Hence the Janeyyy94) and I really dont want pictures of my legs everywhere.

6th Aug

This fucking laptop is seriously pissing me off! It keeps not responding, after hours of working on a project in paint.net when I decided to save it it crashes!! D:

And there's a fly that's been buzzing around my room for the past 2 hours. Ew. I'm meant to be asleep by now!! I have to tidy my room tomorrow for Friday and I need to do it before I go out at 4 so I want to be able to wake up fairly early at like 10 to get started and do some other stuff, but now I'm not going to wake up in time AND THE PROGRAM STILL WONT SHUT!!! I feel like crying in frustration but I wont, the Internets now being really slow and fucking up. I hate technology.

Yea my computer just froze up again... not a good day. I woke up took the pictures for the depression post (the project that just crashed unsaved) and stupid me used the same marker that I did yesterday forgetting that it was hell to get off only this time instead of being on my hand it was all up my arm, thank god for exfoliating gloves thats all I can say, but cant he fix my laptop? I think its the Paint.net program... I'll have to start from scratch tomorrow I guess while doing the million other things I have to do. And I wanted to write. Omg, things keep popping up!! Yea so as I was saying I wanted to write I have 2 projects on the go not to mention all the book I wanna read!! And I havent even started my coursework...shit.

Lol, Aren't I lovely when I'm in a bad mood? :P

Something lovely to cheer ANYBODY up a picture of Bill Kaulitz, he looks so cute with his new look, when he is skinny he looks like a pixie! In a good way though.

Well rather than spending a few minutes blogging it has taken almost an hour thanks to my crappy computer and the fly is still buzzing around!!

4th Aug

Damn my pale skin! Note to self do NOT draw reminders on you hand in BLACK FABRIC PEN, it does not come off easy. So yea, my hand is now smudged grey, with Harper Lee written in black STILL on there and my skin is red from trying to get it off, not a good look. Reason I had it on there? To remind myself of the author of the book I needed to buy (To Kill A Mocking Bird). I started to read the book while I was waiting for the train on my way back from town, its not too bad, I thought it was going to be difficult language like in Pride an Prejudice idk why but so far its not *touch wood*

I went to the library and got MORE book seriously what is wrong with me, I haven't even read all the ones I got the first time and they are jut going to distract me from reading TKAMB and I've got a load of coursework which I havent even started yet. This IT stuff which I do not have a clue how to do and if we dont do it perfectly she said she'll drop us from the course jut like that! A whole year of work for nothing, and I though she was nice :(.

Oh theres gonna be another Arthur And the Invisibles film out, I read it in a magazine a few weeks ago but Tom's confirmed on his blog that Bill is dubbing the german version again. And I know it may seem retarded to watch Arthur Und Die Minimoys in german with english subtitles (my German isnt that good) but his voice is so soothing, its like hes singing/whispering/talking all at once in the film. So nice.

Thats it, I suppose. Unless you would like to know how cringeworthy Ugly Betty was tonight...no? Didn't think so :P

3rd Aug

Yayyy,, we got the wireless Internet working... I'm back on my laptop.

I'm trying to paint my nails atm (yes its sticking) but I haven't used any of my nail varnish except the black in sooo long its all gloopy, yuck.

I have that magic dance song from The Labyrinth (its really confusing how some people say Labyrinth and others say The Labyrinth) stuck in my head, its seriously hard not to fall in love with that film, And I know Jareth is MEANT to be seductive and all but seriously I find it creepy that I'm so entranced by him, I mean how old is he there late 30's early 40's, it like Indiana Jones, and Captain Jack Sparrow but different at the same time I think its the voice. Anyway I'm babbling.

You remind me of the babe.
What babe?
The babe with the power.
What power?
The power of voodoo.
Who do?
You do.
Do what?
Remind me of the babe :)

Told you it was addictive

(Seriously grab yourself a bag of skittles and a Labyrinth DVD and your set for life ;))

3rd Aug

Not that I usually think about this, well I never do I think girls who dream about their wedding day and have their dress picked out by the time they are six are really sad and the only thing I've ever thought about to do with 'my wedding' is that I probably aint gonna have one and I wouldnt want a ring, I'd prefer a tattoo on my finger but theres an amazing song in The Labyrinth, As The World Falls Down which I think would be perfect for a wedding, maybe I should become a wedding planner then I can plan other people's instead of having one myself...

Anyway my Internets fucked up I am now on the family computer after the wireless is crashed, my dad tried to install the modem but couldnt get it working so I stepped in and I have no idea how (but I pretended I did ;)) got it to work. So yayy I've been catching up for the past hour and have jsut about finished, seriously I could not live without Internet. Movies Internet and magazines they are the entertainment I need in my life... and books and friends, and one tree hill.... and gossip girl. Ok, this list is starting to get pretty long. Talking of books I finished Child X yesterday and have moved on to Missing Abby, they arnt very brilliant and theres so many errors in this book. They wrote work instead of woke and hunted instead of haunted.

Oh G2G I can hear my dad's motorbike coming up the drive.

2nd Aug

I'm over halfway through watching The Labyrinth (I'm liking it so far, they dont make cool costumes like they used to its all CGI now), I have to wait an hour before finishing though D: so I thought I'd pass some time on here before starting to read my book Child X.

I also need to read To Kill A Mocking Bird for school in September. I tried to do some coursework today but I just get distracted soooo easily!! Anyway I thought I'd read the books I got from the library first as they need to be back soon, then I'll read To Kill A Mocking Bird before reading the books I bought. I might actually try and buy TKAMB as the copy the school gave me is gross with writing all over it, I'm sure my parents will lend me the money. Funny actually I was watching A Walk To Remember earlier and Mandy Moore was reading TKAMB. I thought it was rather coincidental. And yea, I cried my eyes out again though not as much as before.

Oh I started a petition on a site, so far I think I have 5 signatures including my own lol. I dont know who I'm gonna send it to when I actually get enough signatures but... I thought I'd be helpful, I cant just sit around and let injustice happen. Hopefully if enough people sign it'll help get a restraining order against the stalkers. I dont really know if its my place, maybe they'd rather be left to deal with it alone but... I'm too nosy for that!!

The reason for the shit writing on the picture? Paint, I'm on the TV not my laptop or computer so theres no photo editing...and the wireless mouse connection isn't very good :P

TEAM TOM!!

Petition link:

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/teamtom/